Over the past week we’ve talked a lot about emotional validation. Throughout these conversations there have been numerous questions and struggles in both understanding and practicing this important skill. I’ve also noticed that we try to complicate something that can actually be quite simple if we allow it to be. Here goes an effort to support you in simplification….
What is emotional validation? Honoring or acknowledging your emotional experience. Not thinking about what you “should” feel or what others may feel but what you are feeling in any given moment. Remember that there is not a right or wrong here.
How do you do this? This is where the mind makes things overly complicated. Consider saying to yourself “hello _______ (insert emotion), there you are”, consider putting your hand on your heart, or saying “okay _______ (insert emotion), I see you”. The idea is that we are taking a moment to listen to ourselves, breathe, and acknowledge what’s going on for us. This is simple. No easy though.
What makes this so hard? LOTS of things. Messages from others. Disconnection from our body. Judgment including a lot of “shoulds”. Overthinking the details of a situation. Emotional and physical discomfort. Lack of practice. Etc. I’d invite you to spend some time reflecting on what makes validation challenging for you.
It is very hard to regulate our emotions if we are not willing to truly listen to and honor our experience. Once we allow ourselves to do this we are freed up to make choices about how to move through things, thus, decreasing our suffering, healing at a very deep level, and becoming more masterful in our daily lives.